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10 weeks + 1 day

Some random musings for today...

• I hate progesterone. I hate how expensive progesterone is. I hate it because it takes up so much time in my day. I hate leakage. I hate the goop that's constantly making my toilet look filthy, the white sludge. I hate it because I need it and can't go without it.
• Mucus. There, I said it. Just revolting. Also so much more of it this time. *barf*
• Double digits are amazing, but also terrifying. My next appointment is Thursday and I'll be 10w5d, almost the same point where we found out we lost Noah. #ptsd
• I am crampy and back achy and sore and terrified. Seriously, will the terror ever end?
• I love my Doppler. Hubby thinks I'm mental, but I feel the need to check in every morning and make sure baby is still there, heart beating away. Sometimes he hides, sometimes I find him immediately, sometimes he blends in with all of the other whooshes and thuds going on in there. I know that hearing baby's heartbeat doesn't guarantee a healthy pregnancy (trust me, I know) ... but it's nice having one little thing I can control.
• Gas pains are evil. That is all.
• I have apparently forgotten everything about being pregnant before - because I feel like I'm over-analysing every twinge, and googling to see if it's 'normal'.
• Speaking of Google... why does every search about pregnancy end up sending me to a link about miscarriage? It's making me a bit twitchy.
• My nails are tremendously strong and pretty right now. I'm rather proud of them.
• Yesterday was my nephew's first birthday, and we had a great time celebrating. My own sweet boy would have been celebrating his birthday this month too, had we been lucky enough to meet him. I can't believe how different our lives have turned out to how we hoped and imagined.
• Almost 3-year-olds can't keep secrets. Apparently Georgia's been telling her daycare teachers that 'there's a baby in mummy's tummy!' Geez kid. I love that she is excited (she's come to enough appointments to know what's going on) but I'm scared to have to go into damage control mode should the worst happen.

How has your weekend been? 

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